Nice girls and bad boys!

Nice is dull, while the excitement and adventure that ‘bad’ brings with it can prove irresistible!

Flicking through channels, I chanced upon the umpteenth rerun of the movie, Murder. The scene I stumbled upon was Ashmit Patel faced with the evidence of his wife’s infidelity. The obviously embarrassed detective who has just presented him with pictures of his wife (played by Mallika Sherawat) and her paramour (Emran Hashmi), consoles him, “Your wife is a good woman, don’t worry, all will be well. The problem is that when a bad guy sets his mind on wooing a woman, even the best of women fall prey to him!”

What is it that attracts nice girls to bad boys? Well of course, ‘nice’ is dull, and ‘bad’ spells excitement, mystery, adventure — the lure of the unknown. Opposites attract, true. Had it not been so, Beauty would have never fallen for the Beast in the popular fairytale. A good woman finds a bad guy as irresistible as children find a scary rollercoaster ride. Not only does he inhabit a world vastly different from hers but also his slick rendition of wellpractised compliments and flirtatious mannerisms rocks the very ground on which Miss Goody has been standing steady.

The equation works out well; good girls are nurturers and have an innate need to give and benefit people and the world around. In the bad guy they find the eternal taker, the perfect subject for their need to reform and look after. A man on the other hand is attracted by a nice girl as an “unattainable” target that challenges all that is macho and wild within him! He loves a good chase and the trophy at the end of it!

Bad guys, unlike the simple, nice ones, have exciting layers to them that a woman enjoys peeling off to discover hitherto undiscovered facets. The good guy is all there, the bad one awaits discovery. Normally the rake is smooth and at ease with his compliments, making a woman feel admired, sexy, exciting and wellloved. A woman’s sexuality is very dependent on the way she feels with a man, and if he can make her feel top of the world, even the most cautious woman can melt into a puddle of sensuality.

Typically, a rake will approach a woman he targets in a studied manner that is most often picked straight out of women’s popular romantic fiction. Having got her interested, he will back off a bit, giving her space, and arousing that little bit of insecurity! He knows the success of his modus operandi depends on basic good looks, a smooth demeanour and perfect timing — and he works on all.

However, even though the badboy-meets-good-girl story may be a great rollercoaster ride for a while, it usually ends in disaster. We all know of instances where girls have been swept off their feet by exciting guys and some years later, when the discovery period ends, have been left shattered and re gretful. Kavita (name changed), a reader, talks of the daily bouquets, chocolates or books she would receive from Jaydeep along with exciting little love notes in her college days. “Those days I seemed to come across him round every corner. He would recite poems, write songs for me and even sketched me painstakingly. I was swept off my feet like I never dreamt I would be. However once married, I soon discovered his totally possessive, insanely irrational and wildly promiscuous side. It was a disaster within the first few days, though it took me years to finally walk out! What a waste of precious years!”

In retrospect, Kavita blames herself for falling for Jaydeep’s act hook, line and sinker. “It was all too smooth and too much like romantic fiction. I should have realised that it was too good to be true! But I convinced myself into believing what I wanted to believe!”

True, when everything is too smooth and pat, one should never sit back and accept it as God’s gift! Stay alert and keep your wits around you. Refuse to be rushed into anything; there is never any harm in waiting till you are sure.

Kavita’s experience and the dialogue from Murder made me wonder whether only nice girls get attracted to bad guys? Don’t nice guys too get similarly attracted to bad girls? My mind went back some years to an aunt who, having married off her daughters, was exceedingly worried about her son. When I asked her why, she replied, “One has to be even more vigilant about a son than a daughter nowadays! You don’t know what kind of girls keep pursuing boys from good families and before you know it, the boy has been ensnared!”

So, it seems that what is true of a “bad boy” is equally true of a “bad girl”. Both can succeed in ensnaring a good specimen from the other sex, when they set their minds to it! Now, what attracts a nice boy to a bad girl? The same things of course. The ‘bad’ girl brings in the element of excitement and adventure that is missing in the good guy’s life. And if she sets her sights on him, he can barely believe his luck that she wants him! Typically “good” people are those who follow the tried and tested and stick to the normally acceptable societal mores. Those typecast as “bad” are the ones who break the mould and experiment outside the accepted. The rebels are a mysterious lot that spell perennial fascination for those that traditionally toe the line.

They not just attract and fascinate, but even leave the “good” guys with a feeling of panic, as if they may be missing out on the good things of life; their mundane life keeping them bereft of adventure and excitement! Any sudden need to run with the wild packs should be given due consideration before being indulged!